


Srsly bro

by No_stop_you_dont_understand



Series: Sans/reader noodlets [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Bara Sans, F/M, Flowey is bae, Fluff, Grillby is sweet, I suck at tags, Oc is soooo innocent, Papyrus is a giant smol bean, Probably no smutt sorry im a cinnimon roll, Reader is loosely based off of me, Sans is soooo relatable, Slow Burn, im an idiot, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-08-22 19:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8297366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/No_stop_you_dont_understand/pseuds/No_stop_you_dont_understand
Summary: Basically you find out that two skeletons are oddly similar to you, and sans gets flustered a lot.No smutt bcuz I don't even know how a kiss works let alone all that other sh-junk. I'm a cinnamon roll. Underfresh sans is here to protect my innocence.You're joined in the ranks of tsundere by Sans the skeleton when you knock on his door. Tibia honest, you did not expect to fall for your skele-fren this hard and fast(shaddup. I know).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter titles are probably going to be song suggestions for each chapter. Please give me feedback. I hope you enjoy this story.  
> Idk how to summary.

"OI! (Y/N)! GET UP, YOU LAZY BUTT!" your sister, Kate, yelled from the kitchen.

You groaned as you rolled out of bed, collapsing with a loud thud on the dusty hardwood floor of your bedroom.

"mmm'up." You moaned, barely loud enough for her to hear from the first floor.

"YEAH, SURE YOU ARE. GET UP AND GET DRESSED." She said, loudly.

"AND TRY TO LOOK NICE FOR ONCE!"

"mmm'wats the'casion?" You asked, slurring your words together; your voice was still heavy with sleep.

"I MADE COOKIES, AND I WANT YOU TO BRING SOME TO THE NEW NEIGHBORS!" She said, proudly.

"new neighbors?" You asked, your interest piqued, as you reluctantly lifted yourself off of the ground.

"YES. TWO SKELETON MONSTERS MOVED INTO THE MANSION ACROSS THE STREET!" She said, excitedly.

'The mansion' was what you and your sister affectionately called the huge multi-story home that was a bit _too_ nice, even for the gated community that you and your sister lived in.

"cool. do y'know their names?" You asked, slipping your dark red hoodie on, and zipping it up over your stained not-so-white-anymore T-shirt.

"UMMM... I DON'T REALLY REMEMBER?" She said, sheepishly.

"good going, kate. you already forgot their names. what kind of impression are we going to make now?" You teased.

"WELL! I THINK THERE IS SOMETHING I _DO_  REMEMBER! THEY'RE BROTHERS! OH!!! AND I THINK THAT THE TALLER ONE'S NAME IS PAPYRUS!" She said smugly.

"wat," you sniggered, "is the other one's name rice paper?"

"(Y/N)!" She shrieked in a failed attempt to hide her giggles, "BE NICE!"

"mmkay... but srsly, tho. wat do you think his name is?" You asked, running a hand through your wild bed head in an attempt to tame it.

You ducked into the bathroom adjoining your bedroom, and brushed your teeth. You were lazy, but not a total slob. That, and your morning breath was atrocious.

You checked your reflection in the decently sized vanity mirror, and sighed at the dark eye makeup smudged around your eyes. You didn't really do the whole girly-girl thing, but makeup was a must for you ever since that little girl had mistaken you for a man.

Now you could still be mistaken for a man, but at least you'd be a _pretty_ man.

You re-did your makeup, and listened to your sister's loud, but sightly muffled response.

"I THINK HIS NAME STARTS WITH AN S! IT WAS SOMETHING SHORT, AND STRANGE, LIKE PAPYRUS LEVEL OF STRANGE... MAYBE IT WAS SAUCE?" She said, thoughtfully.

You snorted loudly and then cursed when your laughter caused you to get mascara all over your eyelid.

"you can't be serious! _sauce?_!!! you've got to be kidding!" You yelled downstairs.

"YOU'RE RIGHT! IT PROBABLY WASN'T _THAT_  WEIRD!" She laughed.

You finished up in the bathroom, and snagged your maroon Chuck-Taylors and a pair of socks, before jumping onto the handrail, and sliding down the short spiral staircase.

Kate turned, and was about to say something, when she saw your outfit. She sighed.

"REALLY, (Y/N)? ATHLETIC SHORTS? A HOODIE? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO MAKE A _GOOD_ IMPRESSION!" Kate said, exasperated.

You shrugged as you sat back on your expensive black leather couch to put on your shoes and socks.

"WAIT!! ARE THOSE THE SAME PAIR OF SHORTS YOU WORE YESTERDAY?!! THAT'S DISGUSTING! AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO WEAR _CLEAN_  CLOTHES! AND YOUR SOCKS! DON'T MONSTERS HAVE A THING ABOUT SOCKS BEING LIKE UNDERWEAR?!! AND DEFINITELY _NOT_  SOMETHING THAT YOU WEAR LIKE THAT!!" She yelled, mortified, gesturing furiously to your brightly colored, wildly striped, knee length socks, that were, coincidentally, covered in grinning skulls.

"yup," you grinned, slowly, "colorful, striped, knee high socks is definitely _not_  something you want to wear to your first meeting with a monster. and these are practically an invitation to any lonely skeleton monsters." You said with a wink, wiggling your toes.

She sputtered angrily.

"YOU-YOU-AUGH!! YOU'RE SO INSENSITIVE! THOSE POOR SKELEBROS!" She shook her head disdainfully at you before what she said registered. 

Her eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to take it back, but it was too late, you were already making _pun_  of her for it.

(heh. pun)

"skelebros, huh. didn't know we were allowed to make skeleton puns now. 's good, cuz i've got a skele- _ton_ of them. heh." You chuckled at your joke, and the look of betrayal on your sister's face.

"besides, if it really bothers you that much, then you can go instead. 's not that complicated."

" YOU'RE LUCKY THAT I HAVE WORK TODAY, OTHERWISE, I _WOULD_ GO OVER THERE, AND THEN YOU'D NEVER GET TO MEET THEM!" she scolded.

"doesn't really matter to me either way." You shrugged, downplaying your extreme excitement.

Monsters fascinated you; you'd never met a monster before, and these were skeleton monsters. Like Halloween on overload. I mean, c'mon, _skeletons!_  Gosh you just absolutely _had_ to meet them!

Kate saw through your charade, and smirked slyly.

"OK! YEAH! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO, THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO! I'LL JUST VISIT THEM WHEN I GET HOME FROM WORK!" Her sly smile widened at you.

" _ **n o .**_   i mean, naw 's fine. i'll go." Your sister looked quite smug at your response.

"tibia honest, 's not like i have anything better to do."

Kate groaned at you, and went into the kitchen. When she came back, she handed you a plate full of chocolate chip cookies.

"DON'T TELL THEM TOO MANY PUNS!" she said, heading to the door.

"yeah, yeah. get outta here, you _bone-_ head." You said, swatting at her.

She chuckled and ducked her head. No matter what she wanted you to think, you knew that Kate actually enjoyed your puns.

You watched from the doorway, as Kate got into her dark blue '67 Chevy Impala, and zoomed off to Starbucks, where she worked six days a week. (Because it was Saturday, she got the late shift so that she could spend time with you, considering the fact that Saturdays were the only days you had free- what with your eighty-million jobs and all.)

You turned to look across the street, and shook your head to clear it, your signature half smirk still playing on your lips.

The mansion had a huge yard - at least a quarter acre just for the front lawn - that was covered in darling little miniature gardens, a swirling rustic stone path winding its way in between the flower beds from the driveway to the intimidatingly heavy dark oak door.

The mansion itself was at least four stories tall, with a macabre Victorian air about the way the deep reddish brown wood swirled up to meet the roof that extended over a wrap around porch with thick ivory Corinthian columns supporting it.

The house seemed heavy and looming in a way that you'd think would make it depressingly beautiful to look at, but while it was beautiful, its overwhelming presence was more comforting than ominous.

The way that the huge windows stared down at you, and the ivy that had wound around the railing on the porch made it seem almost whimsical and protective in an oddly menacing way.

All in all the house looked like something straight out of wonderland.

You were honestly violently excited to finally see more of the mansion that you'd always been drawn to, as well as the (!)skeleton(!) monsters. Skeletons in general were always something that fascinated you. The movie, 'Nightmare Before Christmas' had made you realize just how much you loved the idea of living skeletons, and how much you were joyfully terrified of them.

You grinned widely when you thought of all your dreams that were about to come true, as you turned your attention to the vehicles in the driveway.

A hotrod red convertible was lovingly parked in the driveway, reminding you of a certain billionaire playboy philanthropist that we all know and love.

Next to the convertible sat a Harley Davidson motorcycle.

 _Hot dayu- **no unfresh lingo, broski** -m, _that was a sweet bike!

It had swirling cyan blue flames on the main body, and simple, but still awesome navy blue detailing on the frame.

In short, it was a beautiful ride.

You were extatic that at least one of the brothers clearly had the same love for motorcycles that you did.

You walked leisurely across the street, and right up to the door. The door itself was at least seven feet tall, which made sense, since monsters were normally huge, and the door knocker was shaped like a grinning skull with eyes that were practically popping out of its sockets.

It was also at least a foot and a half above your head.

Why did god have to make you a measly five feet tall?

You sighed, and knocked as hard as you could with your hand.

KNOCK KNOCK

You heard shuffling from behind the door, and then a deep voice rang out.

"who's there?"

You grinned, and said the very first thing that you thought of.

"journey."

"uhh... journey who?"

" _jour-ney-bor._ " You sniggered, and after a few seconds you heard a deep rumbling chuckle from the other side of the door.

"that was awful. i like you already, kid." A tall skeleton, well tall compared to you, said as he opened the door.


	2. Trouble is a friend -Lenka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And I said 'whyyyyyy.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes nuthin'.

You looked the skeleton up and down. You barely reached his collarbone. His outfit was also eerily similar to your own.

He was wearing a cyan-blue zip up hoodie, a pair of athletic shorts, and navy-blue Chuck-Taylors with fluffy white socks barely peaking out of them.

You looked up at his face-or skull- and saw that he had noticed your outfit's similarities as well. You blushed lightly as his white eye-lights in place of pupils roamed your body. 

You were able to shake off the blush, though, when you noticed his previously ivory cheekbones turn light blue. You may not have much knowledge about magical skeleton monsters-or any, really- but you knew embarrassment when you saw it, and this skele-fellow was basically the definition of embarrassment.

His grin he was previously wearing had dropped slightly when he noticed your socks, his teeth parting just enough to give you a good look at his razor sharp canines.

You cleared your throat when you had had enough of his staring, and his now wide eye sockets met your (eye color) eyes.

You smirked at his bewildered expression.

"do y'like my socks? personally i think that the effect they're having is quite  _sock-_ ing." You said with a wink. 

His entire skull turned that lovely light-blue color.

"nice outfit, by the way. you've got good taste." You continued.

He blinked, somehow turned even more blue, and hid the bottom half of his face in the fluff of his hood.

"i-uh... um?" He stuttered, those sounds the only noises that he could make at this point. You chuckled lightly at him.

"ya know, maken ya all hot-  **stop now before i have ta do somethin' drastic, dawg** \- and bothered is great and all, but i have something' to give you as a sort of housewarming gift before i can go back to sleep." You said, shaking the tray of cookies sightly to get his attention.

When it didn't work, and he was still staring at you, you sighed dramatically.

"they're cookies. chocolate chip. just don't chocolate choke on them. that'd surely  _bake_ my heart." You said with another wink at the poor skele-man as he finally raised a hesitant hand to take the tray. You gave him the cookies, and walked back across the street, glancing back at him once before entering your own home.

____

Sans watched you walk away, his face a mask of embarrassed-blue-confusion.

"WHO WAS AT THE DOOR, BROTHER?" Papyrus yelled from the kitchen, successfully forcing Sans out of his daze.

He shut the door, and walked back into the kitchen where he had been torturing Papyrus with his puns when he had heard the knock at their door.

"one of our neighbors, bro. from across the street. she made us chocolate chip cookies. told me not to  _bake_ her heart." He said, gesturing to the tray of still warm cookies.

"BROTHER! PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T TELL THE HUMAN ANY OF YOUR AWFUL PUNS!" Papyrus said, whacking Sans on the skull lightly with a spoon coated in sauce when he nodded.

"you get mad _fusilli_  reasons, bro." Sans said, rubbing his skull where sauce had dripped.

Papyrus narrowed his eyes, and turned back to his spaghetti that was burning-sorry- _boiling_ away at the stove.

" WELL WE MUST INVITE THE HUMAN TO THE DINNER PARTY TONIGHT! THAT WAY WE CAN BECOME THE BEST OF FRIENDS, AND SHE'LL GET TO MEET EVERYONE!  _YES! YES! I AM A CLEVER PAPYRUS. NYEH!_ " Papyrus said, whispering the last few words to himself.

Sans raised a brow bone at his brother's antics.

"uhhh... bro?"

"YES, SANS?"

"y'know what? never mind. you do you paps."

"GOOD! NOW, SINCE I AM BUSY PREPARING MY CULLINARY MASTERPIECE, YOU WILL HAVE TO INVITE HER. NOW GO. SHOO." Papyrus said with a wave of his gloved hand.

"no can do, bro. i'm busy." Sans said, not really eager to see you again.

"BUSY WITH WHAT?"

"procrastinating, pushing my luck, and  _pasta'n_ my responsibilities off to you, bro." Sans said with a grin.

Papyrus's eyes looked about ready to pop out of his skull.

"NYEH!!" He yelled, overcome by the sudden urge to jump out of the window.

"relax, bro. i'm just  _ribbin_ ' ya." 

"COULD YOU JUST STOP WITH YOUR INSUFFERABLE PUNS ALREADY?!!!" Papyrus yelled angrily.

"naw, bro, i'm not out of puns yet. i still got a skele- _ton_ of 'em." Sans said, chuckling.

"ARGHHH!! FINE!!  _I'LL_ INVITE THEM TO DINNER! THAT WAY THEY WONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR PUNS!"

Sans audibly sighed in relief.

"BESIDES!" Papyrus grinned, "IF YOU WANT THE HUMAN TO ENJOY YOUR JOKES, THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO PUT A LITTLE MORE  _BACKBONE_ INTO THEM!" He then ran outside, abandoning his spaghetti and apron with a chorus of 'NYEH's.

"i'm so proud, bro." Sans said, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye socket.


	3. TTYLXOX-Zendaya/ Bella Thorne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Papyrus does not notice your socks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the song...

You had just gotten inside after giving the skelebro you had met the cookies, when your phone pinged to notify you that yes, you had received a text, and no your sister was not going to leave you alone.

You groaned, and checked the text.

Katie-Kat:

I AM TEXTING YOU TO REMIND YOU TO CHECK THE MAIL. I AM WAITING FOR A VERY IMPORTANT LETTER FROM THE UNIVERSITY!

You decided that the mail could wait until after you had had your nap. You tossed your phone onto the coffee table as you laid down on your wonderfully comfortable couch. 

You had just began to nod off when four pings rang out from your phone in quick succession.

You slammed your hand down onto the coffee table, and felt around for the cool metal rectangle that was your phone. You picked it up, bringing it over your face as you opened your eyes to check your messages. 

Katie-Kat:

I KNOW YOU SAW MY LAST TEXT! GET UP, AND CHECK THGE MAIL!

Katie-Kat:

THE*

Katie-Kat:

COME ON YOU LAZY BUTT! I NEED TO KNOW IF THE LETTER CAME!

Katie-Kat:

PLEASE CHECK! I'LL JUST KEEP TEXTING YOU UNTIL YOU TEXT ME BACK TO SAY WHETHER OR NOT MY LETTER IS HERE!

You sent her a quick text so that she'd stop spamming your phone, and walked back to your front door.

You:

shaddup. i'm checking the mail.

You opened the door to see a very very wow much tall skeleton dressed in armor of some sort with his gloved hand poised to knock.

"HELLO, NEIGHBOR HUMAN! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, I'M SURE YOU HAVE HEARD OF ME!" The skeleton-Papyrus, apparently- said in such a way that you felt as though your sister had been turned into a tall, male, skeleton monster.

"yeah. my sister told me about you."

"WOWIE, HUMAN! YOU HAVE A SISTER? I MUST MEET THIS SISTER HUMAN! TONIGHT AT DINNER WILL SUFFICE! MY HOME. AT SIX.  _NYEH! THOROUGHLY JAPED BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!"_ He said, whisper-yelling the last part.

"wow, wait. slow down paps." You said bringing your arms up in front of you.

"dinner? tonight? at six? wait-human? sister human? okaaaayyy.... first, i have to ask my sister about whether or not we can come to dinner, we probably can, though. second, we have names, y'know. i'm (y/n), and my sister's name is kate."

"IT IS NICE TO MEET YOU, (Y/N)! PLEASE ASK YOUR SISTER ABOUT DINNER AS SOON AS POSSOIBLE!" Papyrus seemed to consider something before shaking his head.

"alrighty, paps. i'll text her right now to see what she has to say." You said, holding up your phone.

You:

hey, kate. papyrus wants to know if we can come over for dinner at six. u cool with that?

Almost immediately you got a response.

Katie-Kat:

ABSOLUTELY! YOU MUST HAVS MADE A WONDERFUL IMPRESSION ON THEM FOR US TO GET INVITED SO QUICKLY. GOOD JOB!

You:

thx sis.

You showed Papyrus the text, and he practically squealed in delight.

"THIS IS GREAT, HUMAN! ALMOST AS GREAT AS ME!" Papyrus said, about to leave your doorway when he noticed your outfit.

"OH MY GO- **no takin' the totally rad big guy upstairs's name in vain** -D, HUMAN YOUR CLOTHES ARE LIKE A REPLICA OF MY BROTHER'S!" He said, excitedly.

"yeah, i met him earlier. what's his name, by the way? he was a bit too... occupied... to tell me."

"MY LAZY BROTHER'S NAME IS SANS! I'M NOT SURPRISED THAT HE DIDN'T TELL YOU, THOUGH. HE WAS PROBABLY TOO BUZY BOMBARDING YOU WITH HIS TERRIBLE PUNS TO PROPERLY INTRODUCE HIMSELF." Papyrus said disdainfully.

"actually, paps, i was the one knocking him  _sans_ -less with my  _sans-_ tastic puns." You grinned up at him.

"NYOOHOOHOO! I AM TOO LATE! SANS HAS ALREADY CORRUPTED YOU! MY ONLY HOPE NOW IS THAT MY GLORIOUS FRIENSHIP SPAGHETTI WILL SAVE YOU!" He said, sadly.

"okay, i'll try your frie-"

You were cut off by another ping from your phone. You sighed, and looked at the text.

Katie-Kat:

SISTER! DID YOU CHECK THE MAIL YET?

You looked back at Papyrus.

"sorry to cut this short, but my sister wants me to  _spa-get-ti_ the mail." You winked at him.

Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets at you.

"WAIT, HUMAN. BEFORE I GO, MAY I HAVE YOURS AND KATE'S NUMBERS? WE MUST KEEP IN TOUCH IF WE ARE GOING TO BE THE BEST OF FRIENDS!" He said, pulling his phone out of thin air.

"sure, paps." You said, typing both numbers into his phone.

He then promptly 'NYEH'ed his way home, saying something about being the greatest at friendship, and about how he was a 'clever clogs'. 

You walked up to the mailbox to find out that it was empty save for a few notes from your favorite waitresses, Josie, reminding you to pay your tab before management started asking questions.

You:

hey, so no letter, but papyrus has your number.

Katie-Kat:

I WISH THAT LETTER WOULD JUST HURRY UP AND ARRIVE ALREADY! 

Katie-Kat:

I KNOW HE HAS MY NUMBER! HE HASN'T STOPPED TEXTING ME ABOUT HOW EXITED HE IS FOR DINNER, AND I MUST SAY THAT I AGREE. I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE EXITED FOR A MEAL IN MY LIFE!!!! =-O :-D :-) :O :-P :-D =-O :-) 

For some reason you didn't understand, Kate was obsessed with the odd smiley faces with noses. That and texting in all caps.

You shook your head as you smiled down at your phone, completely oblivious to a blue faced skeleton watching you from his bedroom window.


	4. Blew my mind -Dresses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your sister makes you get dressed.  
> Papyrus gets ready for the party with Sans.  
> Sans still wont admit that he likes you.

"HEY!! (Y/N), I'M HOME!!!" Kate yelled, slamming the door shut behind her.

When you didn't answer, Kate walked into the living room. You were asleep on the couch. She sighed, annoyed that you still hadn't stopped your lazy habit of taking naps at all hours of the day.

"(Y/N)!!! YOU SHOULD BE GETTING READY FOR THE DINNER PARTY!! NOT SLEEPING THE DAY AWAY!!" She yelled right in your ear.

You shot up, hands fisted, ready to fight.

" **w h a t ? ! ! w h o ? ! !** " You relaxed once you realized it was just Kate, you relaxed your stance, and held a hand over your rapidly beating heart, "oh my go- **sh** -d kate, you scared the crap out of me!!"

"WELL, YOU DESERVED IT. IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A LAZY BUTT ALL THE TIME, THEN MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SCARE YOU AWAKE! NOW GET READY. IT'S ALMOST SIX, AND I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE!"

"who said i wasn't ready?" You asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"WHAT!!! BUT YOU JUST SLEPT IN THAT! AND THAT'S HARDLY SOMETHING ACCEPTABLE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE IN, LET ALONE WEAR TO A PARTY!" She gaped at you.

"you sure, 'cuz i think it's rather  _seam-_ less." You grinned at her. 

(That one was awful. I'm sorry)

"YOU ARE CHANGING INTO SOMETHING  _I_ CHOOSE FOR YOU, AND YOU ARE  _NOT_ GOING TO COMPLAIN!"

"alright, kate. i'll change, but only because your argument  _wore_ me out." You winked.

"AND NO MORE AWFUL CLOTHING PUNS!" She glared at you as she started to walk upstairs.

"you're right, they are pretty  _thread_ -full." You giggled, and followed her upstairs to your room.

"UGH!!" Kate opened your bedroom door, and looked at you like you were a six fingered man who had killed her father, prepare to die.

"YOUR ROOM IS A PIG STY!! AFTER THE PARTY YOU  _WILL_ CLEAN THIS UP!" She declared, one hand on her hip, the other pointing up in the air.

The effect was nothing less than comical; her blazer was slightly askew, her blouse had ridden up enough to show her belly button, and her belt was covered in little dog emojis.

"sure, katie-kat, whatever you say." You said, thoroughly amused by her frustrations.

She narrowed her eyes at you, and walked into your room, sidestepping the piles of both dirty and clean clothes to get to your closet. Your closet held all of your formal clothes that Kate had bought you so that 'you could just dress nice for once.' You had never worn them.

Kate pulled a few dresses out of your closet, and draped them over your unmade bed. She then began pulling out blazers, skirts, and pantsuits. Once she had selected every piece of clothing she deemed suitable for a dinner party, she began to sort the clothing into piles.

"what're the piles for?"

"WHAT I MIGHT BE ABLE TO FORCE YOU TO WEAR, WHAT YOU'LL OUTRIGHT REFUSE TO WEAR, AND CUTE STUFF." She said as if it was obvious.

'Cute stuff' was mainly comprised of skirts and blouses in soft pastel colors, with the occasional navy blue, black, and deep red here and there. You leaned around her to get a better look at the other two piles, and laughed when you saw what was in 'you'll outright refuse.'

All of the pantsuits were stacked neatly, and every blazer-except for one- were piled on top.

The pile of 'force you to wear' had one blazer that was the same shade of red as your hoodie, and the few dresses. 

After her sorting was finished, Kate picked up three outfits. One from 'cute stuff,' and the other two from 'force you to wear.'

"I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU'D WEAR THIS ONE," She said, holding up the short navy blue skirt and flowing pale blue blouse, "BUT I KNOW THAT YOU'LL PROBABLY CHOOSE ONE OF THESE." She then held up a red dress with black accents that was admittedly more casual than what she normally would choose, and a bright blue dress that was a perfect compromise between your casual style, and her demand that it be fancy.

You couldn't help but notice that the blue dress was also the same shade of blue as Sans's blush. 

"this one." You said almost immediately, grabbing the blue dress from her outstretched hand.

Kate smiled at your uncharacteristic cooperation, but her smile faded when she saw the black and white converse you were holding up.

"if i'm gonna wear a dress that you chose, then i get to choose what shoes i wear."

She sighed in defeat, and began to put away the rest of the clothes.

"CHANGE IN MY ROOM WHILE I TIDY UP IN HERE." She said, waving you out the door.

You got dressed quickly, and left Kate's room to find her already waiting downstairs.

You hopped on to the railing and slid all the way down.

"I WISH YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT WHEN YOU'RE WEARING A DRESS." 

"let's go, i'm tired of  _dressing_ with my appearance." You said, ingnoring her reprimand.

___________

Meanwhile at the skele-mansion.

~~~~~~

"OH MY GO- **sh** -D SANS! THERE IS NO WAY YOU'RE WEARING THAT!" Papyrus said, pointing at Sans's stained hoodie and shorts that he'd been wearing for the past three days.

"then what am i gonna wear, bro." Sans said lazily.

"I'LL FIND SOMETHING." Papyrus said, walking to his bedroom.

He opened up his closet, and began sorting through his crop tops, novelty pasta t-shirts, and dress shirts until he found a blue shirt that was the same color as Sans's hoodie. He threw the shirt at Sans, who successfully caught it with his face.

Papyrus then pulled out a pair of black dress pants that were just the right size for Sans(they actually belonged to Sans, but knowing him, he'd 'lose' them in his room so he wouldn't have to wear them), and a pair of dress shoes.

Sans had just pulled the shirt off of his face, when he saw the dress shoes.

"i'll wear this stuff," he said, taking the pants from Papyrus, "but i'm not wearing those." He gestured to the shoes.

Papyrus pouted, but let Sans be. He was just lucky that Sans agreed to wear the slacks.

Sans changed in his room, and looked at himself in the mirror. He was uncomfortable with the sleeves that were a tad too long, and he pushed them up to his elbows, exposing his radiuses and ulnas to the chill air of their home. He then untucked the shirt, and shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his pants. He looked at his black and white converse that were practically swallowed up by the hem of his pants. He sighed, wishing he could just wear sweatpants or something.

When Sans left the room, Papyrus was already dressed and waiting downstairs for the guests. 

Spaghetti had been made, and the huge dining room table had been set. A movie was in the DVD player, ready for after dinner, and Sans's sock that normally sat in the entryway had been picked up. They were ready... Ish.

Sans didn't think he'd ever be ready to see what the human he'd met earlier that day would be wearing. Hopefully cyan blue socks the shade of his magic, with little skulls and crossbones on them. He turned blue when he realized what he'd been thinking.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

Papyrus opened the door to greet the only two humans other than Frisk who'd be at the party. 

A tall girl with brown hair stepped into their home, returning Papyrus's greeting just as loudly as he had given it. She was wearing a black blazer and slacks with a pastel pink blouse.

Then, from behind her, stepped the girl Sans had met. He only had a second to be disappointed that you weren't wearing any scandalous socks before he noticed the dress you were wearing.

It was the same shade of blue as his magic, and was tight and short enough to hint at your figure and to give him a good look at your legs, but not so much that it was slutty. And by Jove, that shade of blue looked amazing on you. 

Sans then decided that you were not allowed to wear dresses anymore. Not because you looked good or anything (you did), but because he was sure Papyrus would feel uncomfortable with you showing so much leg. Yes. That was definitely the reason.

(You just keep telling yourself that, Sans.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy....


	5. Miss Jackson -- Panic! At The Disco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you are intimidated at the prospect of meeting the king and queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know why I try to suggest songs anymore.

"hey, papyrus. why is your door knocker shaped like your face?" You asked, totally oblivious to Sans checking you out only a few feet away.

"HOW ELSE WOULD YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS THE RESIDENCE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHORT HUMAN?" Papyrus asked sincerely.

You opened your mouth to object to him calling you 'short human,' but quickly closed it again.

"y'know what, papyrus? that's a good point." You said, realizing that Papyrus was Papyrus, and there's nothing you could do to change that.(Why would you ever want Papyrus to change?)

You turned to see a blue faced Sans staring off into the middle distance, and coughed quietly to get his attention. He jumped and then turned bluer when he saw you looking at him.

"blueberry." You said, thoughtfully.

"wait, what?" He asked,his face slowly turning back to its normal ivory whiteness.

"that's what your nick name is, blueberry. it's a  _berry_ cute name, just like you." You grinned at him, but then blushed red when you realized you had called him cute.  

 He smirked slyly at you, now only a light dusting of blush on his cheekbones, "looks to me that if either of us is _fruit_ to have a nickname it's you, strawberry."

"th-that was a stretch." You said, living up to your berry _fruit-_ ing nickname.

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE PUNS!!!" Papyrus and Kate yelled in unison. They looked at each other, completely astonished.

You were able to hold in your laughter until you turned to see Sans barely keeping it together. His hands were covering his mouth, and it almost seemed as if he was crying. It was when he glanced at you that you both lost it.

You were bent double, arms wrapped around your stomach as you guffawed. Sans had dropped to the ground, and was literally rolling on the floor laughing.

Kate and Papyrus got over the shock when they heard yours and Sans's laughter. Kate narrowed her eyes at you, and Papyrus crossed his arms and tapped one of his massive shoes on the lush carpet.

"HUMAN AND BROTHER, I DEMAND YOU STOP LAUGHING AT ONCE!"

"YES, SISTER. YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO LAUGH AT PEOPLE."

You held up a finger, indicating that you were trying to calm down enough to speak, when a loud knock sounded from the door.

"Open up, you skeleton PUNKS! Alphys made some sort of Japanese gift thing, and I'm DONE carrying it!" A rough female voice yelled, accompanying the heavy knocking.

"UNDYNE IS HERE!" Papyrus said excitedly. He opened the door, and was then tackled by a tall, blue, muscular, fish-woman.

"NGAH! Papyrus, you NERD! You never told me you had human friends other than Frisk!" The fish woman said after she got off of Papyrus.

What are your names, PUNKS!!?! I'm Undyne!" She said threateningly.

"IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, UNDYNE! MY NAME IS KATE, AND THIS IS MY SISTER, (Y/N)!" Kate replied, gesturing to you.

"sup."

"I can already tell that you NERDS are gonna love training with Papyrus and me!" Undyne said, flexing her arms in such a way that made you believe that she'd probably suplex boulders just because she can.

"This is my AWESOME girlfriend, Alphys!" She stepped to the side to reveal a rather nervous looking short dinosaur woman in a polka-dot dress.

"H-hi. N-nice to m-meet you?" Alphys didn't seem very sure of herself as she walked into the skele-home.

Papyrus was just about to close the door, when the sound of a car pulling up stopped him. 

"NYEH! THE KING, QUEEN, AND FRISK ARE HERE!"

"wait, king and queen? like, as in the tall goat monsters? as in the king and queen of the monsters?" You asked Sans.

"that would be them."

"you've  _goat_ to be kidding me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. That done did happen, y'all.
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter. :'(


	6. Try--P!nk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know...  
> Papyrus gets to be awkward this time, I guess...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry.

As the Dreemur Crew™ unloaded themselves from their car, Papyrus jumped around excitedly at the prospect of having Frisk, Asgore, and 'ASGORE'S LADY CLONE' inside his new home.

"heh, paps. it looks like you're really  _hoppy_ to have guests." Sans winked, sending finger guns Papyrus's way.

"NOOOO!! SANS HOW COULD YOU!? WITH UNDYNE RIGHT THERE!!?!" He moaned into his gloves.

"Um... What? What exactly is that supposed to mean!?" Undyne asked, arms folded over her chest.

"IT MEANS THAT YOU ARE.. UM... hopper to be here...?" Papyrus squeaked out.

Undyne raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I'M SORRY, I WAS GOING TO TRY TO MAKE A FISH PUN, AND I WAS SURE THAT A 'HOPPER' WAS A TYPE OF FISH! BUT NOW I DONT KNOW, AND I'M SORRY, I'M SOO CONFUSED?!?!" Papyrus then proceeded to flop down face first into the carpet wailing about how he couldn't even manage to pun correctly when Sans, the laziest guy he knows, could do it so well.

Everyone stared at him for a lil' while, unsure of what exactly just happened there, amigo.

(Aye carumba.)

Toriel knocked on the doorframe of the open door, and  _holy mother of go- **sh** -d she was tall._

"Uh.. Are we interrupting something?" She asked awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot. (Paw to Paw)

Papyrus leapt to his feet, smiling as if nothing happened, leaving everyone thoroughly confused, and he addressed Toriel.

"NO, OF COURSE NOT! PLEASE, DO COME IN." He said good naturedly.

Toriel and Asgore  _literally_ ducked into the home, Frisk in tow.

If Toriel towered over Papyrus, then Asgore  _skyscrapered._ They both were furry goat behemoths, and somehow reminded you of your parents. Toriel wore a deep purple dress, and Asgore had on a grey suit with a lilac shirt and a royal purple tie.

Frisk was short, and looked to be about eight years old, their chestnut brown hair cropped close to their golden skin. They wore a pair of lilac slacks, and a deep purple sweater with the Dreemur crest on it, perfectly matching the king and queen.

Papyrus introduced them all, and you sat there in awe as both goat monsters took turns enveloping hands in their huge white paws.

Once the introductions were out of the way, Papyrus led everyone to the dinner table.

He sat down before realizing that he hadn't actually served the pasta yet.

"I ALMOST FORGOT THE SPAGHETTI!" He said, jabbing a hand into the air.

"paps.."

(Oh no, Sans, don't. Papyrus has had enough of your torture for today.)

"i sure am glad you didn't forgetti the spaghetti, that'd be something you'd surely regretti." Sans looked almost forlorn at the possible loss of his brother's pasta, until the corner of his mouth twitched.

(That bastard- **stop, my friendo, or you're seriously g o n n a  h a v e  a  r a d  t i m e** \- was barely holding in his laughter!)

"it would be  _impastable_ to get over a disaster such as that." You chimed in, solemnly.

(Not you too!)

Papyrus, eager to get out of there, stood up as fast as he could... 

...right into Undyne's chest...

(Cuz it wasn't _awkward_ enough?! Cmon author!)

Papyrus shot backwards, falling over his chair, and landing in a heap on the floor.

"oh, bro it looked like you were having-" Sans started, but Papyrus cut him off.

"NO, SANS, I WAS NOT HAVING 'THE BREAST TIME'!!! I AM SO DONE WITH YOUR PUNS." Papyrus said, orange faced, from the floor.

Undyne turned to Papyrus and looked into his eyes for a minute.

He stood slowly, and his face grew more orange.

"He-here t-take th-the h-housewarming g-gift." Alphys stuttered out, unable to take it any more.

Papyrus looked at her, unsure of what to do, resulting in another embarrassing stare down.

They sat there awkwardly until Undyne broke the tension.

"Well, Punk! Are you gonna take the present or NOT?!!?!" Undyne punched Papyrus in the shoulder to punctuate her statement.

"THANK YOU ALPHYS AND UNDYNE!! THERE REALLY WAS NO NEED TO BRING A GIFT, BUT THE GREAT PAPYRUS APPRECIATES IT ANYWAYS!" Papyrus grinned halfheartedly at Alphys and Undyne. Alphys bowed, and held her gift over her head with both hands.

"I-it's a Japanese tr-tradition. I-i'm supposed to s-say something like, 'it's n-no-not a big g-gift' when I give i-it to you. I-i was really only supposed to give it t-to you at the end of th-the party, but..." She trailed off, her cheeks flushing red.

Papyrus carefully unwrapped the gift slowly.

Inside the delicate wrappings, sat a fancy calligraphy set.

A soft '..oh..' escaped Papyrus's lips (bones?) As he took in the fancy equipment. It was something he'd wanted for quite a while after watching Mettaton's big daybeau in Japan. He was surprised, and happy, that they'd remembered.

A genuine smile overtook his face, and he swept a surprised Alphys into his arms, hugging her tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know why I write anymore.


	7. All I do is win- by DJ Khaled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who gots da skillz?  
> Sansy, that's who.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a tumblr now!!!!!! It's http://no-stop-you-dont-understand.tumblr.com/  
> and everything sucks!!!

Once Papyrus had thanked Alphys and Undyne sufficiently, the dinner began to pick up. Everyone ate Papyrus's delicious spaghetti, and for dessert, they had a sweet potato pie that Toriel brought over.

After they had finished eating, and after you and Sans cracked a shi- **z** ton of puns and jokes about pasta-the  _pasta_ bilities were endless-and pie-'pie see what you did there, blueberry'-while ignoring the excited whispers of Undyne and Alphys, everyone sat down on the high backed olive green sofa to play some games.

And by some games, of course, I mean the game simultaneously loved and hated by sentient beings everywhere, Monopoly.

Papyrus decided that Monopoly was the ultimate friend ship game, and that everyone had to have a partner to play.

Papyrus chose to team up with Kate, Toriel tentatively teamed up with Asgore, and Frisk pulled a small, angry looking potted plant out of nowhere.

While you were trying to figure out  _how the fu- **nk** that just happened, _ you failed to realize that Sans, Alphys, Undyne, and you were the only ones left.

Alphys and Undyne insisted that you and Sans be on the same team, whispering something that sounded a helluva lot like 'omg, undyne! M-my otp!' and 'I know, Babe! They are so perfect together, the nerds!' when you had shrugged and agreed.

But what they had failed to realize was that Sans was a  _ **BEAST**_ at Monopoly.

Because, although the game started out friendly enough, Sans soon had twisted and tricked and bargained and blackmailed _everyone_ out of their properties. Soon Papyrus, Kate, Frisk and the flower- who had bitterly told you his name was Flowey, and that he was **certainly**   **not** a thing when you had shouted ' _ohmygawsh!!!thatthinghasaface?!!!!'-_ were the only ones left.

"SANS!!! YOU CANNOT JUST CHEAT YOUR WAY INTO VICTORY!!! THAT IS THE LAZY WAY TO WIN!" Papyrus said, placing another fifty down in the middle of the board.

"bro, i am offended that you think i'd ever cheat. don't you know that i've got  _no dice_ in that category?" Sans said, picking up the dice.

Papyrus groaned, and you may've laughed a little harder than was necessary.

Soon Frisk forfeited the game, leaving all of their properties to Papyrus and Kate because 'Sans is  **not** going to win this one if I have anything to say about it.'

But even though Frisk's sacrifice was valiant, it was all for naught when you and Sans took victory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the short chapter, but I spent an hour looking for a Monopoly pun, and this was the best one I could find. Fite me.


	8. First update in like....a year...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idgaf

You snuggled into your warm bed, feeling how soft and sturdy it was. Despite how much of a headache you had from your social interaction at the party, this was your best night’s sleep you’ve had in quite a while.

 

You squeezed your pillow tight, and breathed in deep, inhaling the scent of pine and snow that surrounded you.

 

Mmmm, Katie must’ve put some sort of air freshener in your room before you left, because this was not how your bed smelled yesterday.

 

Not that you were complaining.

 

…..

 

Your eyes snapped open when you felt someone’s arm circle around you, wrapping around your waist.

 

Blue filled your field of vision, and you felt your cheeks warm.

 

Oh god, no. This was not happening. 

 

You had  _ not _ just fallen asleep in Sans’ arms.

 

_ ….Had you…? _

 

A soft tap followed by a camera’s shutter sound seemed to wake Sans up. He shifted around, and yawned.

 

You were frozen in your embarrassment, as you hoped to god that he wouldn’t notice you were awake.

 

….

 

Undyne sniggered as she hit send. 

 

This. Was. Hilarious.

 

You were wrapped up in that dork of a skeleton’s arms, and very obviously awake.

 

“NYEH!”

 

There goes Sans’ stupid ringtone.

 

“Ting!”

 

And yours.

 

Undyne laughed loudly, and ran out the door, joining the Kate and Papyrus on a morning run.

 

….

 

Sans blinked slowly, and stretched his left arm up above his head as he yawned.

 

His right arm was wrapped around something warm and soft, and a sweet scent filled his nasal cavity as he breathed. Something light and feathery tickled his chin.

 

“NYEH!” Went his ringtone.

 

Ugh, what did Paps want now?

 

Bleary eyed, Sans stretched his left arm over to where his phone usually lay on the ground.

 

But instead of being able to reach all the way down to the floor at his bedside, Sans’ hand hit something that he recognized as the back of the couch.

 

“Ting!”

 

A soft noise that sounded like the factory setting for an iPhone ringtone rang out next to Sans.

 

“Bang!” There went the front door.

 

He blinked some more and opened his eyes completely.

 

There you were, laying on his chest, your legs tangled with his, your skirt had ridden up to your upper thighs, and you were as stiff as an uncooked spaghetti noodle.

 

Your eyes were squeezed shut tight, and your fists were balled up in his hoodie.

 

Warmth and cherry red radiated out from your cheeks, practically colouring your whole face.

 

Sans could feel your heartbeat, fast and panicked. Your breathing sped up, and you were hyperventilating.

 

He was a little uncomfortable in this situation, sure, but it seemed to him like you were having a full blown panic attack.

 

~~~

 

You felt everything get incredibly fuzzy and far away as you clenched your fists tight in Sans’ hoodie. 

 

You knew what this was, but you wondered why it had to happen at such a little thing.

 

Even though your eyelids were squeezed shut tight, the lights around you were too bright.

 

Every sensation was too much. It all overwhelmed you.

 

The world was soft and hard at the same time. Loud and quiet. Too fast, ohgoditwasalltoofast, and at  t h e   s  a  m  e    t  i  m  e    t   o   o     s   l   o   w  . 

 

It felt as though everything and nothing were happening at the same time, and you could feel your heart beating so hard it felt like it would come right out of your chest.

 

You--You couldn’t breathe! You were sucking in air, but it felt like nothing made it to your lungs.

 

You felt boiling hot tears squeeze out of your eyes, but they felt like ice as they rolled down your burning face.

 

You curled up into a ball on Sans’ lap, hiding your face behind your quaking hands.

 

Even if you died, you would not let anyone see you cry. You didn’t want them too see how broken you were--and god you couldn’t think!

 

You clawed at your throat, beat at your chest!

 

But the air just wouldn’t come.

 

For every shuddering breath you tried to take, twice as much air was being stolen from you.

 

The edges of your mind felt like they glowed a bright white, and then shot to jet black, flickering back to the harsh white and then to black, slowly getting faster and faster until it was too much and you felt your eyes numb.

 

They fell open, but you saw nothing.

 

Tears poured more freely from your unseeing eyes.

 

You fell limp. You stopped trying to suck in air.

 

In the back of your mind it registered that Sans was shaking you, shouting your name, screaming for someone--anyone!--to come and help, but he was so far away…

 

_ …. _

 

_ …….. _

 

_ ………….. _

 

_ …….And…… _

 

_ ………..t...h....e…..n…….. _

 

_ ……………………………......t…...h…....e….....r……...e………….. _

 

_ ……………………………………………...…...w……..a……..s………………………………….. _

 

_ ……………………….. _

 

_ ……………. _

 

_ ……..n………………...o……………..t…………..h………..i……………….n……………...g…………………………………………………… .  .   .   .     .      .       .        .         .           .             .               . _

  
  
  



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